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Mel Robbins: When Losing Weight Seems Hopeless

This is a question about dieting hi Mel for my entire life I've been overweight

now I'm trying to diet for the first time in my life

Wow that takes courage right there that you've been overweight your entire life

and you're taking this on so first things first you need to know that we're

all very proud of you so you're writing and saying that you feel lost and

trapped but you're gonna keep going but you have this massive feeling of

insecurity and vulnerability can you please explain why I feel this way sure

when you take on a massive change whether it's trying to die it after a

lifetime of being overweight or maybe running your first race after a lifetime

of never ever exercising or maybe it's starting to date again after you lost

your spouse to cancer when you confront something that's gonna require you to

change your behavior you basically come face-to-face with the gap between who

you are right now and the future person you want to be and sometimes when you

see how big that gap is it sucks it's overwhelming the amount of work that

it's gonna take to close that gap between where you're at and what you

dream about suddenly feels insurmountable the reason why you feel

vulnerable and you feel insecure is because you're starting to focus too

much on how much you're gonna have to do and that's overwhelming you that's

happened to me in my life you know what I come face-to-face with is this fear

that I actually might suck that I actually might not be able to do this

and when I start to convince myself that I'm not going to be able to close that

gap between what I weigh now and what I really dream of

looking and feeling like then I start giving up so you're gonna feel

vulnerable you're gonna feel insecure there are two things that I want you to

do I want you to narrow your focus down to the literally minute to minute

decisions that you're making about your health don't think big picture get

through today second thing I want you to do I want you to use the five second

rule-- the way that you're gonna use it is if you have a diet the diet is very

straightforward it's black and white there's a list of things you're allowed

to eat and a little ton of things that you're not allowed to eat so the diet

itself is very straightforward and simple but the reason why dieting isn't

easy is because of how you feel about dieting dieting itself is simple the

reason why it's hard is because you listen to how you feel I want you to go

through an exercise where you write down all of the triggers that make you eat do

you like to eat after you've had breakfast like you like a little snack

down the way to work do you like to eat when you feel vulnerable do you like to

eat at five o'clock in the afternoon do you like to eat when you feel bored do

you like to eat when you're sitting in front of the TV do you like to eat after

dinner do you sample everything off of your kids plates if you've got kids like

identify all those areas where you fall into the trap of not following your diet

now what I want you to do is to use a piece of research that has proven over

and over and over again in an experiment after experiment after experiment that

will make you three times more likely to stick to your diet you ready it's called

if-then planning so I had to make a list of all those places where your your

you're probably gonna cheat right where you start to feel a certain way you feel

defeated you feel tired you feel bored you feel pissed off at your boss you're

not really thinking so you're shoving food in your mouth

now what you're going to do is you're going to take that list of things that

trigger you to cheat on your diet and you're gonna use if-then planning

and how it works is this you're gonna say if I feel tired then what are you

gonna do because right now what you're doing is you're eating if I feel tired

then I'm gonna stand up and go for a walk around the house if I feel bored

then I'm going to stand up and walk into the kitchen and I'm gonna allow myself

to surf online and check out Facebook for five minutes instead of eating if I

feel stressed out where I feel like I can't do it anymore

then I'm gonna call a friend the reason why you want to do this is because first

of all you've told the truth to yourself about all the ways that you cheat and

all the things that trigger you to overeat and not stick to your diet and

secondly you stuck something in place that is your plan B so that you're not

subject to your emotions in the moment so here we go you're vulnerable because

you're focused on the gap between where you are and the future you so first

things first let's narrow the focus and let's focus day today moment to moment

on what you're doing second you're going to use the five-second rule the moment

you feel yourself cheating on your diet or being drawn toward food you shouldn't

be eating count backwards five four three two one

that will quiet all of the garbage in your mind it will awaken your prefrontal

cortex and it will point you toward your goal which is sticking to that damn diet

and finally I want you to do an assessment and identify all the ways in

which and things that trigger you to overeat and cheat on your diet and then

I want you to come up with an if-then if I feel this if I see this if I catch

myself doing this then I'm gonna pick up the phone or I'm gonna go for a walk or

I'm gonna surf a sweep I'm gonna do something other than

cheat on my diet try those things let us know how it goes and most of all we want

you to know we're really proud of you for taking it on because it takes a lot

of courage to face the things that aren't working in your life and to push

yourself to change