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Sports Parents, You'll Want to Hear This | The Mel Robbins Show

- What are some of the worse behaviors


you've seen on the field?


- You know, I've seen a referee,


by the way I get anywhere from 200 to 1400 videos a week


- What?


- From not just around the country


but from around the world.


It's an epidemic, it's a culture in crisis,


it's exactly what you said that it was.


I've got a video of a woman that's


running on to the soccer pitch that slaps the referee.


I have a state school administrator


out of West Memphis, Arkansas,


who allegedly spit at an NFL referee.


I have a 21 year old kid who is told


by a 43 year old adult in Oregon,


I'm going to kill you after the game.


- Oh my god. (crowd sighing)


- This is a cancerous epidemic and it has to stop.


- Wow. I mean I'm stunned by the number of videos


that you're getting every week.


Why are parents so psycho about kids sports?


- (chuckling) (crowd laughing)


Psycho is the nice word.


I think it boils down to entitlement.


I think we live in a society to where


if we get told no or someone spanks your hand


and said no-no, we get mad, we get angry,


someone's gonna take our joy away.


We want to raise the trophy at the end of the week


and say, by gosh we are champions.


Doesn't matter. The kids don't care. Kids don't care.


(applause)


- Wow. Well here's something that I've wondered


because as a parent with three kids,


Chris and I have noticed this whole rise in club sports


and the amount of money that people are throwing down


and we got sucked into it with lacrosse


(chuckling)


with our oldest one, is there you think,


a connection between the uptick in money


that parents are spending and the uptick in


this behavior that you're seeing?


- I do and let me preface this by saying,


just because you spend more money for your kid


to play sports, that is not a permit


for you to be an (bleep).


- Whoa. There's a word. (applause)


- And let me tell you why I say that,


I ref quite a few, I ref games all over the country


and the higher and the more affluent the family


the bigger,


- Really?


- Yeah. And it doesn't give you a permit to be like that.


So yeah, I think there is a major uptick,


I think they demand perfection.


I think their ego is fed by money,


I think their money feeds their mouth


and I think it turns into verbal vomit


and it creates a toxic environment for sports.


No development, no fun, win at all cost


and it's an epidemic, a cancerous epidemic.


(applause)


- When the parent also becomes the coach


how does that also impact the dynamic


because you know look, I think a lot of youth sports


are run based on volunteers,


there's a lot of amazing coaches out there,


a lot of us parents, you know we want to be involved


with our kids but how can that impact this?


- Let me say this, I was this person,


I coached my kids - [Mel] You were a psycho?


- I was a psycho. (laughing)


And let me tell ya, I saw the light


when my own daughter and son at the end of the game,


I'm going hey, we need to do this,


you didn't cover the back door on


the second half on this play and you got to play harder


and their like, dad we don't want to hear it.


Then they told me later, we don't even want


to play anymore and so for me that was like


a reflection moment of, what, why am I doing this?


Why am I acting, because they are


an extension of me and I want to be victorious


and I want to be the champion and I want


to win at all cost and so I finally


figured out to stop and to back up.


Got in to referring, I changed


my whole dynamics as a parent and guess what?


My kids are excelling in a major way


and all they truly want to do,


all they truly want to hear


is that they want you to hug 'em, tell 'em you love 'em,


tell 'em you enjoyed watching them play and move on.


(applause)


- [Mel] Yeah and let somebody else,


well case and point.


      


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